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By Keith, February 8, 2010 1:18 am

This week’s safety huddle at work deals with the use required use of proper hand and arm protection.  Along with the main page of information that I’ll read to the inspectors is a supplemental page with some stats and questions to keep the huddle interactive.  One of the activities it suggests is to have everyone tuck both (if they still have them) thumbs into the palms of their hands, then have them try to tie their shoes.  Obviously this little task is meant to demonstrate how difficult simple tasks we all take for granted would become were we to lose our thumbs, but I don’t think it’s one that makes a lasting impression.  After all, I could just buy all of my shoes with Velcro straps.

I would not be moved to stop taking my fingers for granted by merely thinking of how hard tying things would be.  Perhaps if I were made to think about how difficult blogging would be without a thumb to press the space bar, or that without a thumb, I’d have to move the mouse to click the BACK button on a browser.  Do they make prosthetic thumbs?  How would I open my candy wrappers?  How would I hitchhike?  How would I express that I like a movie?  How would I play golf (Holy shit! I just realized the PGA discriminates against thumbless people!)?  More importantly, how would I play video games (other than Wii)?!?!

Also included in the informational packet are pictures of four grotesquely mangled hands.  I’m supposed to ask for each person’s consent before showing them the pictures.  The same courtesy was not extended to me (because I didn’t READ the accompanying email)!  It seems that our employer has given up on trying to appeal to our intellect and has resorted to trying to scare safety into us.  Either way works for me.