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By Keith, February 8, 2010 1:18 am

This week’s safety huddle at work deals with the use required use of proper hand and arm protection.  Along with the main page of information that I’ll read to the inspectors is a supplemental page with some stats and questions to keep the huddle interactive.  One of the activities it suggests is to have everyone tuck both (if they still have them) thumbs into the palms of their hands, then have them try to tie their shoes.  Obviously this little task is meant to demonstrate how difficult simple tasks we all take for granted would become were we to lose our thumbs, but I don’t think it’s one that makes a lasting impression.  After all, I could just buy all of my shoes with Velcro straps.

I would not be moved to stop taking my fingers for granted by merely thinking of how hard tying things would be.  Perhaps if I were made to think about how difficult blogging would be without a thumb to press the space bar, or that without a thumb, I’d have to move the mouse to click the BACK button on a browser.  Do they make prosthetic thumbs?  How would I open my candy wrappers?  How would I hitchhike?  How would I express that I like a movie?  How would I play golf (Holy shit! I just realized the PGA discriminates against thumbless people!)?  More importantly, how would I play video games (other than Wii)?!?!

Also included in the informational packet are pictures of four grotesquely mangled hands.  I’m supposed to ask for each person’s consent before showing them the pictures.  The same courtesy was not extended to me (because I didn’t READ the accompanying email)!  It seems that our employer has given up on trying to appeal to our intellect and has resorted to trying to scare safety into us.  Either way works for me.

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By Keith, February 7, 2010 1:25 am

I need another hobby like I need a hole in my head, but that didn’t stop me from buying a guitar.  Can I play guitar?  No, not a lick; hell, I can’t even read music.  So I’m trying to learn from watching videos and looking at chord charts.  Mostly when I play anything there are these embarrassingly long pauses between notes and chords.

After two days of finger exercises, the tips of my fingers on my left hand are red and tender.  I can feel the callouses slowly forming.  The hardest part thus far has been knowing when to stop the exercises before getting blisters.  Basically, I’m murdering notes, murdering my fingertips, and I need it to stop before the bleeding starts.

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By Keith, February 5, 2010 12:31 pm

“In order to make an omelet, you must first break a few eggs.”   The omelet metaphor has been used many times to justify sacrifice in the present to achieve a goal in the near future, however, when looked at closely, the omelet metaphor crumbles like a dried, empty eggshell.

Due to its implicit use of force, the omelet metaphor smacks of violent coercion and implies that in order to achieve goals, sacrifice is required of someone either voluntarily, by force, or by threat of force.  It implies the need to pound people into submission and seems to justify the use of force to break people to one’s will.  I completely disagree with the omelet metaphor.  Most of the time, if one thinks first of breaking eggs, opportunities for more creative solutions are ignored.  It seems that if modern man would learn to compromise and solve problems creatively so much more could be accomplished than by breaking and destroying as a first resort.  The Omelet metaphor no longer seems apt.

Another reason I don’t like the metaphor is that the sacrifice described therein is never being made by the person using it.  Most people who have sacrificed something for a greater good do not feel the need to make excuses to others for their own sacrifice.  In reality, they need make no statement to defend their decision or to clear their conscience.  For example, a man who cuts off his own foot to escape a trap is breaking his own eggs in order to survive, but I doubt he would feel compelled to use that phrase.  No one would need to ask his justification.  His reasoning is clear.  It’s when that phrase is used to justify someone else’s forced sacrifice that it rubs me wrong.  Most people use the omelet metaphor to explain to others why someone else must sacrifice for a “greater good.”

Breaking down the words of this phrase, we find that they don’t really mean what they are intended to mean.  By their very nature, eggs (if fertilized) represent potential offspring; they represent the future.  It doesn’t make sense to me to call the eggs (or the potential animal in the egg form) a sacrifice, because the eggs in the shell are not of much use as such.  When making an omelet, one is merely taking an otherwise useless object (an unfertilized egg) and transforming it into something useful.  Even the stated goal of the metaphor, an omelet, seems short-term, short-sighted, and hardly worth the sacrifice of future chickens (turtles, or dinosaurs, whatever offspring might come from them).  Certainly the loss to the person breaking the eggs is far less than the loss to the mother of the unhatched eggs or to the families of those who are sacrificed.

By their very nature, eggs represent potential offspring.  It doesn’t make sense to call the eggs (or the animal in the egg form) a sacrifice, if as you say, the eggs in the shell are not of any use.  Basically, I’m arguing against the idea that people or the use (primarily in military actions) of people as a resource without fully appreciating the value of life is a great mistake.  So to devalue potential life within an egg to make an omelet is to say “We are sacrificing future eggs, future omelets, and future chickens (or whatever the animal is that laid the egg) for the here and now, for our immediate gratification.  I don’t think that metaphor makes sense in 99.9% of the situations I’ve ever heard it.

I understand the impossibility of converting everyone to pacifism.  It’s pointless to teach pacifism.  Teaching all people the true value of EVERY human life (it is all each of us truly has) on this planet is paramount.  Teaching people that killing for religious reasons is not acceptable.  Teaching people that killing innocent civilians for ANY reason is ever justifiable is atrocious, because doing so is tantamount to saying that some human lives are disposable.  I would also suggest that the human race must teach every child empathy, the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and understand the situations others find themselves in, sometimes as a direct result of their environment/upbringing/culture.  Until that happens, someone will always be happy breaking someone else’s eggs to make an omelet.

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By Keith, January 30, 2010 1:19 pm

I haven’t anything to say to the world today.  The world seems to have little interest in hearing opinions based on observable facts and logic.  The world wants ambiguous statements of truth, wholly untestable and unassailable slogans, and tautologies.  This blogger is fresh out of those.

These terror filled days run on dogma, urban myth, and conspiracy theory.  Big pharma and those fat-cat Wall Street bankers threaten our very way of life with their gay marriage and abortion mongering.  Thank god we have our patriotic Supreme Court to step into the breach to defend the good name of corporate interests in these times of crisis and uncertainty.  Our government truly is our steadfast, unwavering bastion of truth, freedom, and the common good.

Amen.

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By Keith, January 29, 2010 8:55 pm

For the most part, friends are great.  (I am Keith’s limiting statement.)  Yes, friends are wonderful, but they are not all the same.  Does that mean that BFF’s are better than casual Facebook acquaintances?  Sure does, but that’s not what I’m writing about.

This post is about what friendship means to me.  There are lots of sappy sickly sweet greeting cards (I am Keith’s gag reflex) that yammer on about friendship in obscenely lofty language.  This will not be that.  Friendship is too subtle for such heavy handed treatment.

I say that friendship is subtle because we sometimes find ourselves becoming friends with people without intending to.  We work with a person long enough or spend time in classes or playing sports with them, or we game with them online, and before we realize it, we feel comfortable around this person.  We let our guard down, begin to trust, and before we know it. BAM! New friend.

It’s not only trust that makes someone a friend.  For me to befriend someone, it also requires high levels of honesty, comfort, sharing, empathy, forgiveness, and common interests.  All of these ingredients in varying amounts seem to determine the value of someone’s friendship. The weight we give to each ingredient is, of course, different from person to person and completely subjective.

We are not all the same. Certainly all of us look for specific traits whether or not we are aware of it. Take honestly for instance. I’d wager that someone like Dick Cheney might value loyalty far more than honestly. So much that he can remain friends with someone who would lie to protect him. Not all of our friends have the same trains in all of the same combinations.

Where am I going with this? I’m stating my recent reevaluation of my what the word “friend” now means to me. In doing so, I pay no mind to the dictionary’s treatment of it.  I’m ignoring my inner cynicism and expanding my ideas about it’s meaning. Here we go…

HONESTY
Above all other things, honesty in all things is paramount to me.  I would rather hear the ugliest of truths than the most beautiful falsehood. When we lie to people (including ourselves) we disrespect and devalue them. Lying, even a white lie, is a degradation. My friends should always interact with me honestly and should expect the same in return.

TRUST
We all need to trust others on occasion, and I don’t believe you can have friends without trust. People who divulge personal information entrusted to them are not my friends or won’t be for long. I’ve heard gossips say in their defense that the person shouldn’t have told them the information if they didn’t want anyone else to know. I don’t accept such bullocks, and I don’t treat my friends with such contempt and disrespect. Your friends are not your information sources.

COMFORT
My comfort level when in the presence of another person is a strong influence on the level of friendship I’ll have with someone. If you’re a person who says or does things that make me feel uncomfortable, we probably will never achieve BFF status.  If you don’t know (but do care) if you make your friends uncomfortable, maybe you should ask them for an honest answer.

SHARING
I value sharing with friends, but I don’t mean “sharing” in the material sense. I don’t want for things from my friends. I desire a sharing of ideas, thoughts, opinions, and the like. Sharing time is certainly nice too. Friends of mine should feel free to speak their mind, agree, disagree, or remain indifferent, secure in the belief that sharing such things strengthens our friendship. Even if we disagree, we’ll at least gain insight of each other’s thought process.

EMPATHY/COMPASSION
Empathy and compassion are just manly ways to say “love” or “caring” about each other. Even someone as emotionally stunted reserved as me must admit to caring/loving empathizing with or having compassion for his friends at least a little bit. The truth is that it’s a lot, but I choose not to wear it on my sleeve. Friends should show that they care about each other. My way to do this often involves doing technical tasks for or giving help and my time (which is extremely valuable to me) to those I care for.  Tech support counts!  Along with my love/caring empathy and compassion goes understanding.  I do my best to understand and empathize with my friends. I hope they will reciprocate, but I know it’s not always easy.

FORGIVENESS
Without exception, every one of us makes mistakes. Friends will forgive you. There are limits to forgiveness, of course, but when you recognize that a friend is truly sorry, forgive them and move on.   Life is far too short for holding onto +10 grudges of destructive unhappiness.

SHARED INTERESTS
There seems to be a strong correlation between having shared interests and friendship. Frequently people meet through and bond over those interests they have in common. Such is the case with he friends I have online. Although I’ve never met some of them offline, they are real friends nonetheless.

As someone with very few close friends in the offline world, I can attest that it takes relatively little effort to make friends online.   However, once a friend is made, the effort is well invested in keeping and improving friendships with those you hold most dear, online or offline.  (I am Keith’s post-blog regret.)